30 May We Are All Made of Stars: Where do you shine the brightest?
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“He should always be the star. I think, I don’t really like to admit it, because it’s pretty shitty, but I think there’s a little part of me that wants him to stay small and disappointed, because if he suddenly knew, if he suddenly saw what a talent he had for living, then of course he’d leave me far behind in my tiny four-walled world. Silently, I sing along.”
“Books are a bit like time travel, aren’t they? They can pick you up out of your life and put you in someone else’s? It’s just a shame that at some point you always have to come back.”
“Being noticed, turning heads, but these days—I think life is easier if you’re invisible. At least it is for someone who isn’t as brave as you. I was brave once, but somehow I think I’ve forgotten how to be.”
“Don’t decide you are too young to fall in love, or settle down, or have children, or travel around the world, or become a rock star or discover the cure for the common cold. Don’t wait for anything. Just do it. There is never a right time, except for now. The right time is always now.”
“And then you got really sick and nearly died. Hope, you always think it’s you who follows me, that I’m always the leader, but what you never understand is how much I need you. I need you here, in this world, alive, my friend, because—if it was me, if I made you sick, if I’d have killed you, I’d never have forgiven myself. And I need you.”
“I think the whole point is the only person who can make my life any better is me.”
“I realize what it means to be gone, to be nothing. To be dust. I started to see other people like me drop off the planet, to stop being present and start being past tense. I stopped thinking of CF as just this thing I had, and started thinking of it as the thing that had me. When you suddenly become aware of a clock ticking, it’s the only thing you can hear. Honestly, I’m afraid of being nothing one day. I’m afraid of being ash and mud. I’m afraid of going out of my front door. I’m afraid of everything—except you.”
“When you feel afraid, go outside at night and look up, because when you do that, and you think of all those other stars out there, nothing on this earth is frightening anymore. Nothing.”
“I know that I have lost myself, and I don’t know where to look for her, the strong, funny, capable woman I used to be. The woman who knew what to do in a crisis. The woman who never failed. I think I must have left her by the roadside one night, concentrating so hard on running away that I stopped running after what I wanted, or to the people I love.”
“Perhaps it’s the relief from the pain of living a life that is less than you always imagined, hoped it would be, is excruciating.”
“I really have no idea what is happening next. I’ve come to this point in my life, thirty-two years old, and I believe that from today, I have to start again completely. I have to start from zero. So, what I’m trying to say is, it feels like shit right now, but eventually knowing everything, knowing it all, as bad as it is, means you can start from zero again, and you can build your life.”
“I really have no idea what is happening next. I’ve come to this point in my life, thirty-two years old, and I believe that from today, I have to start again completely. I have to start from zero. So, what I’m trying to say is, it feels like shit right now, but eventually knowing everything, knowing it all, as bad as it is, means you can start from zero again, and you can build your life on the truth instead of lies.”
“Maybe knowing what it is that you want, the future that you have been fighting for, is what it will take to make it happen. It’s easy to admit defeat, and to let go of people you love or dreams you have because it’s difficult. Fighting for them is what takes courage. Fighting for them is what matters.”
“It’s not easy, being in this world. Picking yourself up, getting yourself together, time after time, only for some bastard to whack you back down. But what else can you do, right? If you keep getting up, sooner or later something or someone is going to show the reason why it’s worth keeping on trying.
This is the day that everything begins. And somehow I know, whatever comes next will be wonderful.”
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