As the cell door swings open, I’m greeted by what I can only assume is a giant. This seems like a fair assumption, as the man standing in front of me is at least 6’7” tall and must weigh over 300 lbs. But I do not run, because he greets me with a smile and I therefore deduce that he must be a friendly giant.
“Hello, I’m Luke Jelly,” the giant says in a thick Yorkshire accent. I can already tell I’m going to like him.
At this point I feel the need to assure you, dear reader, that my criminal record remains spotless. My digs for the night are, in actuality, a backpackers hostel housed in a former prison.
Located in the picturesque city of Ljubljana, Slovenia, Hostel Celica is a must for any adventurous traveler. It’s incredibly clean, welcoming, and gives you a chance to spend a night in jail without having to ask your parents for bail money. Taking full advantage of this unique opportunity, I’ve opted to stay in one of the hostel’s converted prison cells, complete with iron bars.
As I glance around the room, I find myself instantly impressed with prison living. It is, in a way, what I imagine Martha Stewart’s cell would look like. The colors are muted and zen, and there’s a small wooden desk nestled in the corner on which weary prisoners may write their loved ones. If it weren’t for the stark iron bars which currently adorn the windows, we could easily be in a bed & breakfast in some quaint seaside village.
Snapping back to real life, the giant (and my cellmate for the evening) informs me that he’s already taken the bottom bunk, and asks if I would mind sleeping on the top one. This seems fair enough, as top bunks in prisons aren’t generally designed with giants in mind, so I decide not to mention my tendency to hurl myself out of bunk beds in my sleep and instead nod in agreement.
As the giant crawls into bed, I place my hands on the cold iron bars of our cell door and reflect on my current situation. Yes, I could be at home right now, nestled in my familiar bed, hot water bottle tucked under one arm. But in all honesty, I’d rather be here, embracing the unknown in my small prison cell in Slovenia with a friendly giant named Luke Jelly.
And with that, I shut the cell door, click the lock into place and it’s time for lights out. I bid the giant goodnight, but he’s already fast asleep, the low rumbling of his snores beginning to fill the tiny cell we will call home for the night.
As I lie in my bed, a slight smile spreads across my lips. Tomorrow I will break free from the confines of my comfy little cell, and then the future is mine to do with as I please.
Gee, who knew a night in prison could be so liberating?
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